USCGS Dallas* in Sevastopol' - The Russkies Bring teh Funny

*or, as some bloggers have taken to call her, "Pampersnosets", a play on the Russian word for "aircraft carrier" or "avianosets".

Because we Americans need to find out the secret to what makes the Russian Navy so crappy. I made a port call on a frigate years ago to Severomorsk. I caught one of the Warrant Officers taking a tour of the ship surreptitiously chipping non-skid off the deck. I mentioned it to the OOD and he said, "Why don't they just ask? We can give them BUCKETS of it."

Point being that I don't think there is much point in being all covert and James Bond because I don't think there is much to learn from a Navy that isn't smart enough to mix some paint and sand together and coat their bare metal decks with it...

Oops. I gave away the secret formula.

Now on to the photo story...



Nothing gave away the spy. Not the sunglasses or the parachute on his back...


On board Dallas, "John" received his final instructions, explosives and poison capsule...


Stiff legged, he walks down the brow and onto land...


walking up to the very lair of the enemy - the Russian Black Sea Fleet base.


He succeeded in covertly bypassing the entrance to the base.


But an alert granny thwarted his secret plan...


...and hit his backpack with a death-dealing flag pole attached to a Communist flag.


While the police calmed down the wicked old bag...

..."John" faded into the crowd to complete his mission.


Bonus addendum to the story: One of the commenters observed, "At least he wasn't a ((black guy))."

You stay classy, Russia!

Meanwhile, our crack team of scuba diving cats prepare to infiltrate the Russian Black Sea fleet base:



as their paratrooper cat-patriots prepare to infiltrate HQ and claw a couple of couches or something: